Summer TV - Shouldn't you be on the beach?
Culture schlock.
As summer slowly approaches, grinding along, maybe even thinking about appearing on the day it's supposed to "" June 21 "" instead of waiting 'til the July long weekend or later, some of you are getting excited about the new summer TV shows.
You should really be thinking about gardening, fixing that fence, playing soccer, going camping, laying on the beach drinking fruity cocktails, and having hammock sex: perhaps not in that order, and perhaps with a shower in between. But we live in New Brunswick, so we know there will be (many) days when the weather sucks.
When it comes to American programs, which, let's face it, are the ones that most Canadians watch, summer means a new crop of reality shows. As someone who avoids reality TV like a communicable disease, I'm unqualified to tell you which are better bets. Which reminds me...Paula Abdul has a show biz career, so what do qualifications have to do with anything?
There are a few new non-reality shows too, including a couple that seem promising.
A quick look at the upcoming schedule starts with the new Regis Philbin vehicle, Million Dollar Password, Sundays on CBS and CTV at 9 p.m. ATL. The twist is that big name celebrities, like Rosie O'Donnell (is she still considered a celeb?) and Neil Patrick Harris (whose career became super hot when he came out. Hey! Does this show have a "Gay Guest Only" policy?) pair with contestants to help win the big bucks. I used to love Regis, but I can't listen to his "I'm out of control" senile rambling anymore. Actually, I get my fill of Regis when comics like Conan O'Brien and SNL's Daryl Hammond impersonate him.
I Survived a Japanese Game Show (Tuesdays, ABC) is more interesting to me than most reality shows, mainly because I love watching MXC (Most Extreme Elimination Challenge), and I've holidayed in Japan, so I understand the culture shock aspect. Here you can watch 10 Americans try to maneuver their way through the crazy antics typical of Japanese game shows, meanwhile trying to adapt to Japanese culture. I'm skeptical.
You may already have started watching Denise Richards: It's Complicated (Tuesdays on E! on Digital Cable 121 or 123), featuring Charlie Sheen's ex-wife and certified hottie, as she goes through boring dating rituals, with the cameras on, of course. I don't trust any show on a network that has an exclamation mark in its name. But she was awesome in Wild Things.
An alternative to the crop of crap is Swingtown (premieres Thursdays, June 5 CBS and Global), which looks quite intriguing, mainly because the hip, cool and very talented Canadian actress Molly Parker is the star. This show is about Chicago-area swingers, and I'm not talking about a new baseball team in Illinois, or the monkey exhibit at the Windy City zoo.
Also interesting, and featuring more Canadian content, is Fear Itself, Thursdays on NBC (premiering June 5, 11 p.m. ATL). Rufus Wainwright, who I'll call Canadian even if he doesn't, is part of the cast of this 13-part horror anthology brought to you by the director of Saw II. I wonder if Rufus will perfect that "horror movie scream." That's some of the new stuff coming our way via the boob tube this summer. I wouldn't blame you for turning off the idiot box for the whole season, actually. Me? I plan to spend most of the summer in the hammock, hopefully not alone.
Craig Pinhey watches TV in the summer, sometimes through the screen door while sitting in the sun. He knows that's pathetic. Visit Craig at www.frogspad.ca.
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