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Speak Up

Dunh-da-dunh-da-dunh is my cellphone ring; it's also the start of the theme to Hockey Night in Canada, and, not coincidentally, the sound of the beat of my hockey heart.

I was on the road to Wolfville when I heard the story that CBC wasn't renewing their rights to the song, and I was on my way out of Wolfville, after two and a half days straight of Atlantic wine, when I heard that CTV had snapped up the rights to this most iconic of Canadian tunes.

That was a bit shocking. Not that CTV would jam it to CBC like that, but that the theme was, in fact, truly no longer CBC's.

I became wistful every time my phone rang, reminding me I'd never hear it again, not properly...not where I was supposed to hear it, anyway.

I thought I knew what was going to happen. CBC was toying with the song's owners, waiting on them, knowing they'd lower the price to a reasonable sum, far below the $2.5 million they were reportedly demanding.

But no, it's gone. It's in the hands of the "other" network. The private one. The one that complains about public money propping up their biggest competitor. The one that doesn't cover hockey games.

Wait a second! They don't cover NHL hockey games! Why did CTV buy the song? Are they taking over the rights to HNIC? No, it can't be so! Who will cover the games? What will happen to Don Cherry? Will he be replaced by Lloyd Robertson? Or, worse, Ben Mulroney? I'm not sure I would be able to stomach his scathing commentary.

Or, will they use the theme for second-rate hockey, or for other "sports," like figure skating or curling. I know! It would be perfect for Canadian Idol. Noooooooooooooo!

Actually, it kind of works: "Dumb da dumb da dumb." Maybe CTV will sell it back to the CBC for a profit. That would show those edumucated folks how capitalism is supposed to work in a democracy. Yeah, that's right, stick it to the man"¦um"¦man.

This just in. My assistant just handed me a note saying that, in fact, CTV owns TSN and plans to use it for their NHL broadcasts, including their French network (RDS) and possibly for international hockey featuring Team Canada, including the 2010 Olympics.

I guess that's good, but the tradition of Saturday night hockey with the Leafs (that's MY tradition, anyway) will never be the same.

The songwriter reportedly made $500 every time the song was played. That seems a bit high "" does that count cell phone rings? Hold my calls, please.

Reports of outrage have emerged across the country, as folks like me proclaim their love for the theme. "I know the words off by heart," offered one fictitious individual who is either a moron or somewhat clever, "which is more than I can say for O Canada."

CBC has considered running a contest to find a new theme, but this will not cut it with hockey fans. It could end up being replaced with one of the hip-hop standards they play on breaks at Q-games, or "" horrors - that incredibly annoying Cotton Eyed Joe. How about Eye of the Tiger?

No thanks. I want the beat of my heart back on Saturday nights. Especially during the playoffs, when CBC covers most of the Canadian team games. Think renewing the theme should have been a no-brainer? Well, dunh da dunh da dunh "" DUH!

Craig Pinhey knows that this is the wrong time of the year to be thinking about hockey. Visit Craig at www.frogspad.ca.