The Two Fat Guys head to the Chris Rock

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The Two Fat Guy's decided to head to a classic Moncton tavern this week, and stopped at the Chris Rock, located at 48 Albert St. For more information on kitchen hours, please call the bar at 858-5478.

The Fat Guy's verdict:

I can't even count the amount of times I've attempted to eat at the Chris Rock. It feels like some sort of psychology experiment gone wrong "" it's like you have to show up, but not really want to eat there in order to even have a chance. The hours of operation where food is served is a confusing presentation that only a regular might be able to stay on top of. And the Chris Rock has plenty of them. It's New Brunswick's oldest running tavern.

Not to be so easily dissuaded, even after a few too eager attempts, we decided to have breakfast there. We arrived early in the morning on Saturday, at around 10 a.m., the place already had a handful of people seated eating eggs and swilling beer.

I perused the menu, a small but perfect bar menu, and decided on a breakfast ($4.95) served with two eggs any way you like them, bacon or ham or sausage, hash browns and toast. But there was a glaring omission in that list "" coffee. Unlike my fatter friend, I can't make it through the first meal of the day without a couple of servings of caffeine.

The waitress, when asked about the lack of coffee, said that they didn't serve it and left the table. We looked around the room, seeing many a mug of Tim Horton's coffee and so we elected a member of our breakfast table to go and get some of that brown goodness for the rest of us. No matter how hard I try I just can't figure out why a bar wouldn't have coffee, especially if they're serving breakfast.

My breakfast was surprisingly quite good, the eggs done over easy as requested, the bacon striking a good balance between burnt and flimsy, while the hash browns were crisp and spiced just the way I like them. I just couldn't get over the minimalist approach to service and the lack of coffee.

Some would find the laid back nature of service appealing, you know like the Cheer's TV show theme song: "You want to go where everybody knows your name..." There's no rush and no fuss. There are restaurant in New York and Paris where waiting staff treat all their clients terribly, refusing them service or telling them off when they ask questions. These places are very popular, the draw being an evening of great food and aggression. While the Chris Rock isn't aggressive, there's a sense that they're not really into whether or not you like it there, because they love it and so does everybody else that matters.

I give the Chris Rock a 6.5/10 because the food was good. The only detraction is the lack of ambiance (it's so dark in there I could barely see my food) and the service. But I know that anyone who likes it there likes it a lot and would probably give my breakfast an 8.5/10.

Fatter Guy's verdict:

We've tried quite a few times to dine at the Chris Rock. The first time was a Saturday, we went there for supper "" turns out they stop serving food at 2 p.m. on Saturdays. We could order in if we wanted though (too bad that wouldn't quite work for this column).

Well then. We thought we'd try another time for supper, but it was a Tuesday, and they only serve supper on Thursdays and Fridays. We tried another time at lunch, and I honestly forget the day or the reason why it didn't work out, but it didn't.

So this time, I thought calling ahead would be appropriate. One small problem "" The Chris Rock's phone number wasn't in the phone book, in The Yellow Pages"¦so I 411-ed it. The woman said there was no such number in her directory for it. Interesting. The Other Fat Guy hopped on the net and found it, and we were set for breakfast one recent weekend.

I'm only telling you all this to help illustrate that the Chris Rock is a pretty laid back place.

They don't serve coffee with their breakfasts, and frankly they don't care or make apologies for it (though they do serve tea). Head next door and you can get one from Tim's and bring it in. Oddly, it's kind of like you were eating at home.

So it was with this different type of beginning that I finally began to peruse the menu. Four pages of sandwiches, fried food, larger dinners and breakfasts; it serves all the basics that every pub should. While my partner chose the traditional breakfast, I went with the western omelet ($7.95). While we waited for the food to come, I showed one of our breakfast dates a thing or two about shuffleboard. We only went back and forth about four times and the food had arrived "" I was impressed by how quickly it came.

Everything was prepared on the spot, and the chock full of ingredients omelet came piping hot. It was full of onions, green peppers, cheese, bacon and ham. The bacon and ham were well cooked and there were plenty of both meats to go around. The cheese in the omelet was unusually not cheddar, which didn't seem to give the omelet as much flavour (it could have been swiss cheese, but was most likely mozzarella.) And there was an awful lot of it. Panfries also came with it, as well as white toast.

The Chris Rock's panfries were an interesting variety "" with a sort of spice to them "" they were very good.

I was quite satisfied with the pub food itself. But the place just lacked something...that extra 'I care' attitude was missing. Some very sour cream for a dining partner's tea, was just icing on the lackadaisical cake really. I give the Chris Rock 6/10.

E-mail thetwofatguys@gmail.com